5/9:So I was a little frustrated today because as soon as I finished washing every piece of clothing I owned (and ready to vegetate) my go go locks her house and drops Zindle off at mine. She has her Zion church outfit on so I know she's going to be awhile. I think she saw the panic on my face so she said Zindle could go to the neighbor's if I need to leave. Well...Zindle didn't want to go to the neighbor's and go go was gone ALL day. I'm talking 10-6. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't doing anything noteworthy but I also wasn't interested in feeding and entertaining a four year old's every whim. Well, just as I was starting to care less about whether or not Zindle wanted to go to the neighbor's and more about my sanity my go go came back to grab some things. This was about mid-afternoon and both Zindle and I had already eaten lunch but she gave me this heaping plate of food in gratitude for the day's work. Knowing that they eat potatoes and phutu (a crumbly corn meal) every day of the week I was taken aback by the grandeur of her offering. This gesture snapped me back to reality and it made me remember that Zulus truly do believe that it takes a village to raise a child and that my go go would do the same for me any day of the week.


5/10: I let a new person at my organization's belittling and condescending behavior affect my mood all last week. My revelation that the cause of this behavior could be traced back to him feeling threatened by me didn't make the idea of him being a permanent fixture at my organization any easier. It was only when I realized that I too felt that he was stealing my thunder and therefore threatened by him that I was able to swallow my pride and talk to him about it. In an interesting twist of events we now seem to have bonded quite well.

5/11: So my positive moment would be seeing Matseke my Assistant Peace Corps Director (boss) today. He's really charasmatic so it's always fun to be around him but more than that I was able to reflect back on my Peace Corps experience up to this point and realized how content I am here. As an aside, a woman in my organization today seemed unimpressed with the braid in my hair. So during a meeting she proceeded to take the aforementioned braid out and soon realized she needed something to tame the situation back there. She hurries back with a brush used to polish shoes. My hesitation soon wanes when I realize the harm that could have been done to the straw like knot in the back of my head was done a long time ago.

5/12: So I realize my positive moments have been cheesy and lame lately. Will try to work on that. So today I was once again grounded back to reality by home visits. I've created this exhaustive list of possible projects for my organization and community, most if not all of which were mentioned by someone here, and I can't find a legitimate explanation to cross anything off. The problem is exascerbated by the fact that I can't seem to even focus on the prevention or the effects of HIV. And because I'm an American and a very orgranized one at that, one who appreciates, delights really, in the idea of planning out her next two years to the t, is really finding this whole personal indecision quite frustrating. Will keep you posted on my progress.

5/13: Since an AIDS hospice seems to be a reoccuring request by the members of my community and something that I would love to help with, I've decided to move forward into exploring this possibility further. Ironically, the person who gave me so much trouble last week I asked to be my counterpart in this project today. After we both realized that we were stepping on each other's toes because we were stepping on each other's egos we both backed off and actually make a great team. The very early pieces of this puzzle are starting to come together. I also talked to Matseke about this idea and his encouragement gave me more confidence in its plausibility.

5/14: Easy. Lady Ga Ga. Coca Cola. Lots of inappropriate dance moves in my hut in celebration of the acquisition of said sugar water and sugary pop music.

5/15: A girl came over today looking for help with her homework. As mentioned earlier, I have a loyal posse of 7-9 year olds but it was nice to talk with someone a little older (I'm talking maybe 13 or 14) and I would love the opportunity to tutor so she's coming by tomorrow for some more help, yay!